Immediate Obedience

I am finding myself amazed today at the grace and mercy and love of God. I don’t know if any of you do this or not but why is it that it is so hard for us to do what we believe God is asking us to do? To give up or lay down what He is trying to tell us is not good for us? To be obedient… immediately. Is it that we trust our way more than His? When I think about that question of course I want to say ” No Way!” BUT my actions tend to speak differently… If we did trust His way more than our own, obedience would be immediate.. every time. Here is where I am finding myself amazed though… even though I have been holding on to my will, knowing that I needed to lay it down, once I finally decided to obey God and lay it down… He was right there. Full of Love, Mercy, and Grace… and all of a sudden I felt like myself again.. all the loneliness and emptiness and worthlessness I was feeling was not of God.. it was a result of me trusting myself more than Him. 
I had to laugh at myself this morning, because as bad as I thought it would be to lay “it” (whatever your “it” may be) down and as hard as I fought it and made every excuse in the book to hold on to it… I woke up feeling better, and alive and hopeful, and joyful….again. I had to laugh at myself because, honestly, what did I expect to feel?
Choose my way… feel discourage, alone, hopeless, empty and unfulfilled. Choose God…. feel hopeful, joyful, alive and purposeful.
Am I saying that laying “it” down is easy and doesn’t cause pain.. absolutely not. But I am saying that the Joy that God gives, is more than worth going through the pain.. and I believe will be every time we choose Him over ourselves.
So I know I have prayed many times for God to give me an obedient heart and for Him to help me be more obedient… but through this I am learning that obedience is a result of trust. If I trusted Him completely… obedience would come naturally and immediately… So I am altering my prayer a little now. I am asking God to help me trust Him completely… 100%.. all of the time. .. it really is a trust issue… Do I trust God or not?
❤ Ashley

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