Regret..Shame…I wish I didn’t… why did I do that… what was I thinking…
These are all things that have been so familiar to me over the past couple of months. I don’t know about you but there are times when I have gotten so caught up trying to be perfect, trying to live this Christian life out, trying to be encouraging, trying to figure out what I am supposed to do for God… instead of trying to simply “know” God. Have you ever been in that place before? The place where God just snatches you up out of yourself and puts a mirror in front of your face and shows you what He sees… what others may see… what your hiding.. what your running from? I can honestly say for the first time in my life I have.. and God did just that…. and it was so ugly. The first thoughts I had were filled with shame, and regret, and fear…. but then God broke me when this song played on my CD…
After this song played I was a Hot Mess (for lack of a better term). But in that moment I realized that God showed me this because He loves me and He cares about me and He created me for so much more than the way I was living. I have never before this had such and amazing knowing of what The Blood, Jesus’ Blood truly did for me. I just want to encourage you today that if you are finding yourself in a place where nothing makes you happy, where you are frustrated all of the time, where you are jumping from one thing to another to another… stop… I believe we do this because our spirits are craving God but if we are not being led by our spirit then we are being led by our flesh, which is the thing that causes us to try and find happiness in anything and everything that looks promising.
If you are finding yourself in this place I am begging you to sit and pray and ask God to show you what the root is… what is causing this cycle.. He will show you I promise you that. When He does it may be something you do not want to see, but know that
HE IS SHOWING YOU BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU AND CREATED YOU FOR SO MUCH MORE.
Once He reveals this to you and you repent of the way you have been living, you are taking your first new steps.. in Him and with Him. When the devil tries to bring that guilt and shame back upon you, which He absolutely will, memorize and remember “There is now no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1
When we truly fill ourselves with the Lord, find our everything in Him, live by our spirit instead of our flesh, we allow God to mold us into who He created us to be. Not who we think we are supposed to be, or who others want us to be. When we understand what His Blood did for us we can live in a state of thankfulness and complete dependency on the Lord. When we let go of chasing and doing and doing and doing and just cling to God, we find more fulfillment there in that place than anywhere that this world or things or other people can offer.